Growing With Christ

I have been reflecting lately on how much I am growing and I can see that I've definitely come a long way since even a few months ago. I am trusting God in everything and giving things over to Him has proved to be nothing but amazing and effective. I am still waiting to be disappointed, but I know the wait will be long because no matter what I do, God will always deliver me, even if it doesn't feel like it's good right away, one day I will look back and see the good that came from it. I can't count the number of times God has helped me through; even though it felt like He wasn't there at the time, I can look back now and see where He was all along, and let me tell you, that's really one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. It makes me know right now that He is with me because I know I'll be able to look back one day and see Him, so I know He's here. He's never hurt me or forsaken me. I just wanted to share that, especially now when I'm dealing with distance from a truly great friend, but I have given it over to God, and it has helped me to pray for her a lot more, and know in my heart that God will help us fix the problem. I have absolutely no doubts. I was upset at first, but once I gave it over to God, the trust I feel is overwhelming and the peace is great. I feel fine about it, and I know it will all work out according to God's plan.
Thank You Jesus.

CHRISSY

It's Christmas!

So it's Christmas in 6 days and I don't know what's come over me but I am absolutely excited! I'm excited to give people my gifts, I'm excited to visit with family and friends and I'm most excited that I get to celebrate the birth of Jesus. And, I am happy to say I have grown a lot since last year. Last year, and the many many years before that, Christmas was a sad time for me, not understanding Christmas was about love and happiness, because life wasn't very happy. Last year changed all that when Christmas was fun and happy and full of love and now I am so excited to celebrate Christmas. I'm singing Christmas songs everywhere I go, I'm enjoying the lights and the sounds. Wow, sad isn't it? What happened to me? Now I get sad when I see people sad at Christmas. I'm turning into Michelle, I guess.

CHRISSY

Ear Annoyances

I have been having ear problems on and off for the last year now. Whether it gets infected and I have to go on antibiotics, or it just hurts for no reason at all, my ears have definitely been the cause of many annoying times. It's bad enough I have lost some hearing in my right ear, and those who know me will understand that standing on my right side may make it appear as though I am ignoring you, but the truth is, I may not even be hearing you.
Loud noises irritate them, cold irritates them, water irritates them, sitting in a silent room irritates them. I can't win, so I finally gave up and went to the doctor yesterday who said they were completely clear so now I have to go to an ear specialist to find out what the real problem is because chances are, it's got something to do with the inner ear. There is a chance I will have to get tubes inserted again, which will result in my ninth surgery. Sigh. My sister told me a couple of months ago that when she prays at night, she still remembers to pray for my ears to feel better out of habit, because of all the times I was in the hospital for my ears as a child. But Amy, keep those prayers coming, because it seems as though my ears are prone to problems.

CHRISSY

My Hideous Haircut

Okay this is my new haircut. Ugly isn't it? Everybody keeps telling me they love it and it makes me look older and prettier and it's so much better than the old haircut. I'm not sure; maybe I just don't feel right because I don't feel pretty enough to have this kind of stylistic hair. The picture really does it no justice. It's the kind of thing you have to see in person.
I've always been afraid of getting my hair cut; I don't do well with change. When I asked the hairdresser for the haircut, she cut it much shorter than I wanted. I like the thinness because my head feels ten pounds lighter. I guess it will take some getting used to. If I straighten it, it looks okay I guess, but if not, I despite it with a passion. Now my sister is trying to get me to color my hair. I will, once I get used to the haircut but too much change at once for me might become overwhelming and stressful but we'll see what the future holds for the fate of Chrissy's hair.


CHRISSY

Narnia: True To Fans

Ha! I'm the first to blog about the Chronicles of Narnia movie! (Warning: if you have not seen the movie, I wouldn't proceed further into the blog).
WOW!
This movie was amazing! It stayed true to the novels and Narnia fans everywhere can surely agree that the movie was touching, and gave you the same spine-tingling shivers you experience when reading C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia. The same magical feeling you get is there when you watch the movie as well. The actors and actresses picked were absolutely perfect and their characters were well developed. This was definitely not a low-grade film like the original Narnia movie. The special effects in the new one was amazing and realistic looking. Not one part of the movie disappointed me in the least.
Aslan was brilliant! So powerful and kind. It was amazing. Mr. Tumnus was a sad looking fellow who made me feel sad a lot, but his character was perfect. I LOVED Lucy, who depicted well all the qualities of a child, the imagination and the innocence that led her to be the first to experience a land that nobody else believed in. Yet she still had the qualities of a queen; bravery, nobility, and a sense of leadership. In some senses, she acted in a more mature fashion than her brothers and sister.
My favourite part, (or one of them) was when Edmund was having his chat with Aslan. You see the sky behind them and from a distance, all you see is Aslan on a rock, facing Edmund, talking to him and Edmund's face is down, and his hands are shoved in his pockets. But it's so perfect, because it is the start to Edmund's transformation. Similar to how Christ can change us.
The end of the movie was one that only readers of the Chronicles would understand. Anyone who hasn't read the book would have no understanding what the apple represented or how it's in any way connected.
Brilliant movie!
CHRISSY

Reflections: One Year!

Last night I was in my room praying, and during which, I reflected over the past year. For those of you who don't know, I have dealt with the addiction of cutting for three years. Today, however, December 8th, 2005 marks my one year point of giving up cutting to God. I have not cut in one year exactly, and I give all the glory to God for it. Never would I have been able to make it this far on my own will. Last night, as I thanked God over and over again for helping me get this far, I realized that a year ago, on that night (December 7), I had cut myself for the very last time. That night, I didn't know I would never cut again. It was a long process getting to where I am, but as I look back and remember how I got to this point, I am amazed at how God was in control of EVERY part of it. Let me take you back, if you have the time:
I'm pretty sure it all started when I started cutting, obviously marking the beginning of my journey to where I am today. Not long after I had started cutting, during prayer, I heard a voice inside my head, and the exact words were "Chrissy, don't hurt yourself, only I can heal you." I knew at that point that only God was able to heal me from anything, and cutting myself would never help me. If only I had listened to that voice, I could have saved myself a lot of pain and suffering. Instead, I walked away from God, not completely, because I still loved and believed in Him, but I failed to trust Him completely. So began the addiction.
Never did I walk away from God in the sense that I stopped believing in Him. I prayed every night, desperate for forgiveness, but still only trusting in myself and any sharp object, not trusting God enough. A few years passed, but what brought me to the point of quitting for good? Let me move back to about a year ago.
I think thing started with my trip to Montreal. I originally wanted to go to Australia for a six-month missions trip but God knew better and I wasn't accepted into the program. Then I considered a 10-day trip to Bolivia, but that failed to happen as well. Finally, as I was adament about doing missions, I felt called to go to Montreal. Then the problem arose; who would I go with? I asked so many of my friends but they had other things that week. So I ended up having to hook up with a church in Grimsby, but then I had to figure out how to get to the church on the Saturday of departure. Chris and Kari said they would take me so it seemed all set, until they found out they had prior arrangement so I was stuck. We brought it to the congregation and the next thing I knew, Brad and Michelle Peters offered to drive me. So bright and early on a Saturday morning, Michelle picked me up and drove me to the church in Grimsby. God planned it this way completely. I immediately felt a bond with Michelle, which was odd for me, who had trust issues. I knew something was weird when the whole week in Montreal, the person I missed the most was Michelle, the person I barely knew. What was that all about? God obviously. Meanwhile, Michelle knew I was a cutter the second she met me; how did she know? She doesn't know; she says she just "knew." I think that was God too. She picked me up at the end of the week and as she drove me home, she watched as the energy drained from me, dreading going home. She tells me how she cried and cried as she drove home and told Brad that she had to come back and get me and take me home; she couldn't leave me there.
As Michelle and I got closer, God began to tug on their hearts, leading them to have me move in with them. I was clueless the whole time but on my end, things were getting worse. Home life was falling apart and at just the right time, Brad and Michelle asked me to move in with them. After careful consideration and prayer, I felt led to go with them and so I moved in, scared, but excited.
As I became a part of their family, I learned a lot about life and God and soon, December 8, 2004 came when Michelle told me that if I really wanted to stop cutting, I could only do it if I gave it over to God completely. It was then that I realized that I had not trusted God to take care of me and so I prayed long and hard and asked God to take the cutting from me forever. A month later, I took my razor blade down to the beach with my best friend and threw it in the lake, symbolizing giving it over to God. I immediately felt a weight lifted from my shoulders and since then, I have not cut. I am free. It has been a year today and I owe it all to God. He has used my experiences though. At camp, I was able to share my story with two girls who had trouble with bottling their emotions. I believe I helped them in some way. I have also been placed as leader to a youth group where I'm already suspecting three girls as cutters. My friend Kristie just told me that maybe I was put there for a purpose, because everything has a purpose. She's right, God will continue to use my experiences, no matter how bad they were, to help people.
Praise be to God for a year of freedom and a closer relationship with my Father. I would never have gotten to this point without His love and support and all the special people He has placed in my life along the way.
Here's to another year.
CHRISSY

Okay so I was bored this afternoon so I decided to take a bunch of Harry Potter quizzes. Here are the results:
MY BEST SUBJECT AT HOGWARTS



Transfiguration is being able to transform things into something else. A common example used in the movies is being able to transform pets into water goblets with the spell "Vera Verto." Seems weird, I thought I'd be best at something a little less strange, but then again, I'm strange, so maybe it fits.



THE HOUSE I WAS SORTED IN


"These belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal. Those patient Hufflepuffs are true And unafraid of toil."

I guess it fits that I was in Hufflepuff.


MY WAND IS

12 and a quarter inches, ash, pleasantly springy, containing unicorn hair.
This wand reflects my personality because I'm talented and a good friend and that I'm good at mostly anything and people can't help but love me. ???




IF I WERE A HOGWARTS TEACHER, I WOULD BE

SNAPE? Are you joking? This is scary. Okay note to self: do not become a teacher.





IF I WERE A HOGWARTS STUDENT, I WOULD BE


I'm apparently most like Hermione Granger, smart and witty. I'm against breaking rules but I apparently let your friends talk you into breaking rules. (It would be Amy, lol) And not only am I good at school work but I have lots of common sense and I'm very good at solving problems. (Which isn't true at all.









Well that's my blog for today.
CHRISSY

Clouds Part 2

Okay I know that a) I already blogged once today, but remember, I don't have access to blogging on the weekends, so I have to make up for lost time and b) I've become so sentimental about clouds that there's just too much to say.
So today, I looked up at the sky as I've gotten into the habit of doing since that first day on the roof of my school and I saw the most beautiful sight. (Unfortunatly I was unable to find a picture that depicted exactly what I saw, so I'll do my best to describe it). In every direction, whether I turned left or right or behind me or in front of me, the sky seemed as though it were split in two. On the "top" was straight blue sky (although it wasn't quite bright blue yet because it was 7:00a.m. and it was still a little dark) and on the "bottom" was dark gray clouds. A faint pink line of clouds separated the two. I'll never be able to describe it like I saw it, it's too hard. I smiled because no matter where I looked, it was the same, a continous pattern all the way around me. The gray bit of it looked like a wall and the first thing it made me think about was God's protection. I was reminded about how much I'm protected by my Father in everything that I do. And as I was walking to my class, I thanked God for His protection and as I prayed, my words were exactly as follows "Thank You for protecting me from the evil one, thank You for protecting me from the pains of this world, and thank You for protecting me from myself." It was then that I realized that I can do nothing without God, who protects me from harm. He protects me from things He knows I cannot handle and the things I do deal with, He knows I'm strong enough to deal with. I'm noticing every day that God speaks to me through the clouds, even as a simple reminder that He is there, and affecting the world everyday.
CHRISSY

The Wedding Day Is Set

For those of you who don't know, this is Larissa and her boyfriend Darren.
However, I can no longer call Darren her boyfriend, because he now has the official label of FIANCEE! (Which I know I spelled wrong, so sue me). Yes, the good news finally came out on Wednesday, and I couldn't be happier. I was almost in tears as they retold the story of Darren's so-romantic-proposal involving a hundred candles (which were really only fifty, but the mirrors made it look like m0re) and Chuck pictures all over the room. (Chuck is the photographer). The ring is gorgeous and the wedding is set for June 3rd. I am more extatic than ever that the two are finally getting hitched, we've all been asking forever if it was ever gonna happen. You can just see in their eyes that they were totally made for each other. It's really cool and inspiring too. I can't wait. I'm so proud of the two of them and I can't wait to see what Mr. and Mrs. Darren and Larissa Conley will make of being married.
AHHHHH.
CHRISSY

Something Amazing Happened

Okay now I know most of you will find this dumb, but yesterday I was at the mall and I saw a computer game I wanted: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. However, it was $39.99 and I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend that much first of all, second of all, I wasn't even sure if I would like it because I've never played a Harry Potter game and there is like no information on it online at all, trust me, I checked. So, I was at the mall again today to do some Christmas shopping and I was in the same store, debating once again. I finally decided to wait until after Christmas when the price went down or when I could find out more about it, when I looked up and there on the top shelf was this:


This package comes with the first three Harry Potter games for your computer, plus the Quidditch game. I thought wow, that's pretty cool until I saw the price, when I almost had a heart attack. $24.99!!!!!! For four games! I asked the guy like six times if they were the real games and not just demos and he assured me they were the full games, and how he's been planning to buy this as well, because it's such a good deal! So of course, I smiled and thought, how cool is it that I looked up? Otherwise I may have bought a game I've never played before for about $40 and instead, I got four games for almost half the price! Amazing things happen sometimes, I don't necessarily know if it was God, but it was the minute I decided I wasn't going to get it that I saw this. So I of course bought it and now, I get the opportunity to beat four games and get to know them before the Goblet of Fire goes down in price.
So yesterday I complained about my school, today I am happy. My blog is like a rollar coaster.
CHRISSY