Hospital Fears

Okay so yesterday, Ceilidh got her tonsils out, and for me, this experience has been very strange. A couple of days before the surgery, Brad and Michelle were discussing the procedure that would take place through brochures and stuff they were given. They were talking about the gas mask and the anesthesia and how there was a possibility it could make her sick. They talked about what they would tell Ceilidh. That she would be a fighter pilot and it would smell like strawberries.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! The weirdest thing ever! Memories began to rush over me, so many at once. The smell of the gas masks, the needles, the IV, the colors of the walls, the guy in the corner of the room getting the needles ready, the clip on my toe, the strange stuffed animals that weren't mine, the lady carrying me into the room, with something sharp sticking into my back, blood coming from my ears, spilling Tylenol all over the bed, the elevators, the playroom with the weird blocks and cupboard in the corner that you weren't supposed to touch, the food I never ate, except for the Jell-O, the car track, the coloring, the girl I thought was a boy until she wore her normal clothes. Seriously, it was so vivid, and from being in the hospital 8 times, I guess there were a lot of memories. I froze and Michelle wondered what was wrong, and I told her. Like I was shaking, and later, I almost cried. I couldn't believe how sudden and how vivid the memories came. It wasn't like I had forgotten all about those 8 times in the hospital, but it's not something I think about very often I guess.
And now I'm getting worried because my ear specialist appointment is on the 25th of January, and there's a chance I may have to have that surgery again. I'm a little nervous just because I've had enough hospital visits.

CHRISSY